Life, the Universe and Emptiness

So now I'm wondering if I made the right decision. . .I'm freaking out. Why would I want to go to China? I don't know anyone there. I have no connections. . .I have to recreate myself--AGAIN!! I had enough trouble with that coming here. I mean, wouldn't it have been easier to just move down to Atlanta and live with Kim? Probably. Of course, that probably would have meant a bunch of crappy interviews and such. I'm too lazy to stay in America. Is that it? I mean, that's the basic reason that I didn't transfer from here. I wanted to. I was so desperately miserable that I started looking into other schools. But I was too lazy to fill out applications. The only reason I have this job in China now is because I was bored last semester and filled out the job applications. I never even wrote up a resume. I'm so laaaazy.

On a happier note, my Mom came in yesterday, and I left school early to go surprise her at the airport. And Anjuli remembered me! She was so happy to see me. And today as I was leaving, she didn't want me to leave. That's probably what brought all this sadness on. I love her so much.

Near death experience

Well. . .there has to be a first time for everything, right? My heart is not working properly. . .it's freaky not having control of my car.

I braked too sharply for the turn. and anyways. . .I'm not really sure what happened, except that i ended up in the ditch facing the other way.

Maybe I'm being melodramatic. . .but if the car that was behind me had been closer, or the car going the other way had been there 10 seconds earlier. . .I would either be dead, or seriously injured on Lula Lake Rd. (and it sounds so peaceful!)

But. . .then, I didn't even have to restart the car. I just pulled out and around, and continued on my way. (sigh)

And it's crazy. . .I wasn't actually worried about myself while the car was spinning and skidding around. I was really just thinking "oh holy crap--the CAR!!" Death doesn't scare me. I'd rather be in Heaven than anywhere around here. But if I was stuck here, and I had to explain the death of the car to my dad, and figure out how I was going to get around--that would be seriously annoying and frustrating.

Do I have wierd priorities?

CHINA!!!

All right, I just realized I hadn't posted since Tuesday. . . .I GOT THE JOB!!! So say farewell to me, ladies and gentlemen, for the time has come for Jasmine to grow up and move to a new country! I'll be leaving at the very super beginning of August, for a 2 year contract teaching Kindergarten and KIA. You can view my new school at www.kia-china.org Have fun!
I'm super super excited, and so yeah. I haven't stopped smiling since.
Well, off to a bridal shower! Yay Spring!

Waiting

I'm so tired of waiting. . .why can't they just make up their mind and make me an offer? I really really really want this job in China, and i wish they would just give it to me already. I know I'm perfect for the job, and I think I would really fit well in the school. Besides, I want to have a decision made about my future.
Everyone keeps asking me what I'm going to do after I graduate--and they're right! I should know! But do I? No way. I'm sitting around on my butt, waiting for an offer from this school, and I'm afraid it's never going to come. I'm nervous and scared, and I desperately want it. I know that God will have his hand in it no matter what happens, and I know that his best is my best, but sometimes it's just so hard to wait. . .