The Moon Sees Me

I’m lying out here in the grass behind my house and gazing at the beautiful full moon above me. My fingers are liable to freeze off at any minute, but the spirit is upon me, and so I’m writing down my revelation. I had finished my lesson plans (along with a little something to help them come along. . .if you know what I mean), and I was just lying here gazing at the moon and talking to God about my life, and the fact that I totally suck at it—living that is—and asking him for direction. And then I suddenly realized that I was a moon. And no, I wasn’t that drunk. Seriously. Like the moon, I’m not actually beautiful. There is nothing in or about me that is attractive. I’m like the moon, a big ball of rock, just orbiting around in outer space. I’m not even sure why I’m drifting around this earth, but it is kind of cool that I manage to control some things. You know, there are tides I cause, and ecosystems that I help out, and whatever else. So it’s not like I’m pointless—there is plenty of work that I do, but it’s mostly just because I’m there. And yet, the moon has beauty. The beauty doesn’t come from it. It comes from somewhere else. It’s only when the light of the sun reflects off the moon that we can even see the moon. When it is fully able to reflect on us, it’s one of the most beautiful sights I’ve ever seen. Looking at the sun hurts my eyes, because I can’t handle that kind of brilliance. But when I see it reflected, I can look at that light, and it doesn’t hurt me or scare me. The moon has a softer beauty. And I realized that I need to be reflective. I’ll never be a sun. . .only God is that perfect. But when his perfection reflects off of me, I can be beautiful. Even that reflection is never perfect—you can see the shadows on a full moon where there are valleys and craters. But they make me unique and individual. No other moon has the same valleys and craters as I do. And I like them—but I like to reflect the sun.
Anyways, there are plenty of holes in my little theory—but that’s just me—I like me little theories, especially when I’m lying out gazing at the moon. I’m a sucker for sentimentality when I’m comfortable and satisfied (and just a wee bit relaxed).
So have a happy day, and maybe I’ll reflect into your life sometime. . .

Life, Love, and Loneliness

Life is such an odd thing. And I’m cheered up by such silly, worldly things. I mean, last night I was really depressed and on this awful slump because I was going to have to say farewell to my classful of kindergarten children this morning. I wanted to make them all little cards and then have nice cards and presents for the teachers I was working with. And it seemed like none of the people I loved and wanted to spend time with could go shopping with me for those things. So finally, I admit, as a last resort, I called my roommate of a month and met her out at the mall. Then I went crazy at Hobby Lobby, and bought 12 yards of tulle, and two random hysterical pictures to put up, one in my bathroom, and I haven’t figured out where the other one should go. I also got a Strawberry Shortcake candle. It smells nice. Anyways. I was cheered up lots and lots and lots. But then I came home and watched Elizabethtown. . .which in and of itself is actually a really good movie. But it made me feel so alone. . .I wanted someone to love. . .and be loved by. Basically, it rubbed in the fact that I’m single, with no man. Terrible. . .usually it doesn’t bother me to be single, but sometimes, it just feels so lonely.