an interesting life. . .

It's Tuesday again. I was going to post last Tuesday. . .but I didn't. Last Tuesday, my class said goodbye to a student who was moving out of the country. So we were having a goodbye time of sorts, where they made him going away cards. So they were asking me how to spell, I Will Miss You. So I wrote it on the board. But one of my boys asked what he should write on his card, so I pointed it out, and said he could write that. But he said he couldn't, because he wasn't going to miss his friend. I was a little in shock and trying to figure out what to do--because they were both standing right there, and they were friends. So I tried to joke and lighten the mood--because that's what I do. But he insisted, "I never miss people. I don't like missing people anymore." I couldn't say anything after that.
For some of you who know me, I do the same thing. I lie a lot, when I tell people I'm going to miss them, because I know that that's what's socially acceptable. I don't usually bring it up unless it's true, but if they say it, I can't make myself hurt their feelings by not repeating it. From Covenant, there are 4 people that I can honestly say I miss. I'll have fleeting memories of random people that I spent time with, and think, aww, it would be fun to do such and such with them. . .but I don't really care very much. There are lots of people that I love--so when I'm with them, or I talk to them, I enjoy it. . .but if they're not around, I probably won't think about them.
I'm probably just sounding like a bitch right about now, aren't I? I don't even know. I guess I'm just thinking out loud, because it's kind of rough trying to create deep relationships here in China, where I know that they will tend to be very short. At Covenant, I knew I had 4 years. I still lost people--they dropped out, or we just went our separate ways. Covenant is small, but it's still possible to never see people.
But here. . .I have a 2 year commitment. The other new teachers have the same. So I know I have that with them. All the rest--teachers, students--I don't even have a guarantee of that long. The students could be gone in a week, like the one that left last week. I was told on Friday that Tuesday would be his last day. And that was it. He's gone. Will I ever see him again? I doubt it. It's just so frustrating never having that kind of stability. And I'll never have it. I know me. This is the world of today. It's a world of constant transition and change. Which is cool, and exciting. . .unless it's an unpleasant change.
Se la vi.

I also have the strangest feeling that today is someone's birthday, or a Yemeni holiday or something. . .confustation. The date is familiar, somebody help me out. . .

Oh, and if you have never heard the song "Home" from Beaty and the Beast (Broadway version)--it's amazing. I confess, it's on my Disney Princess CD, and that's how I know it. But yeah.